Am I an Asshole?, and Other Musings
I know some of you will probably not have to think once, let alone twice to answer that question. I personally don't think I'm an asshole, but there are times where I'll do something and think, "Candy canes!" and other times I'll think, "Jebus, Jason, that was a dick thing to do." Yet other times still I'll do something completely selfless for no reason at all and I don't know why. Am I losing control of my body and/or actions? I think the real question is, Am I Bi-Polar?
Last night I happened to catch part of a re-run of a SNL sketch where Horatio Sanz plays a two-faced Rosie O'Donnell. While it would have been funnier if Jimmy Fallon wasn't laughing the whole time, it reminded me of myself a bit. I had been eating a lot of beef, lately, and was turning into a fat lesbian. Wait, no. Uhh...to the lesbian part. I eat beef a lot. In fact, I had beef and broccoli (go nutrients!) tonight thanks to a wonderful service called the Chinese Food Delivery Man. But I digress.
What is it that really sets me off, in either direction? Driving to lunch today I experienced the gamut of personality disorder from warm fuzzy to complete ass. As I was coming upon a man bent over retrieving his mail from his mailbox, I noticed that he let some fall out of his hand as he stood up to walk away. Holy god I just read that sentence again. I immediately blew my horn to get his attention at which point he appeared a bit confused until he saw the item on the ground, and subsequent to picking it up, thanked me heartily. Would just anyone do this? Maybe, but i doubt it. The helping with the mail thing, you sicko.
Anyways, I was feeling all good about myself when WHAM! I came to a stop at the stop sign and let the person who got there before me go first. I was just about to go when WHAM! the guy to my WHAM! left goes on my turn. So again I'm about to turn and the guy across from me goes. All of the sudden I'm frothing at the mouth, inefficiently hurling anathemas at every living and non-living thing I could see. Between sputters and spit flecks I might have said a thing or two that some may or may not possibly at some point in time could maybe consider sometimes or seldom but not never to be a bit "offensive." Irregardless, I was amazed at myself. I never knew I could curse out bunnies and squirrels and Mazdas in the same breath. But, my sandwich at Sensational Subs was delicious, so I was happy.
I'm thinking of changing the name of my blog from "Edelman" to "Digressions." Sometimes I find it more suiting. In other news, OH! I remember now. Ok, so I was at Sensational for lunch...ah, screw it. I've already ruined the mood. Next post I'll talk about.
Word of the Day: titivate v. to smarten up; to spruce up
"Hey, Joe, take a look at that thar girl yonder! Hooeee..." "Yeah, I'd sure like to titivate'er." "You stupid'r sumpin?"
slapped on by Edelman @ 9:52 PM
4 blatherings
4 Unauthorized Ramblings:
My old boss once told me that, after having had a heart attack, he had to stop caring about the way people acted behind the wheels of their cars because it wasn't worth it. This was after he told me that he would never stop being condescending towards me, so I should "just get used to it." And before he fired me.
Jason. Let me just say we don't find you entertaining because of your looks.
Jason, your an ass, get over it. Theres nothing that you can do to change it, your just an ass!
Im messin' with you, I dont think your an ass, all the time anyway. So for my full and whole hearted responce:
I think that you are very smart, very strong willed, straight to the point person which can make you look like a dick sometimes.
In my own personal opinion, some of the things that you say can be so mean and ugly that people immeditaley classify you as an ass. Mainly because you are being one with those quick, snappy remarks. Honestly, they are pretty mean and even though your playing, it can still hurt peoples feelings. You've done it to me a few times and I've just learned to take it as a joke and that your just being "Edelmen."
Though the mail man story was nice touch to make it seem less "dickish."
Dickish is my new word for the day, by the way.
Love ya!!!
"I know nothing of things that are noble and good."
- Socrates
I find it interesting that we are raised to both think of others and to not care what others think of us. This seems contradictory.
Edelman, true ass holes don't question being ass holes...I'll leave it at that.
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