Heh...heh...Hi Guys!, or Thing One
So, sorry about not posting for a while, but if you read my TOS, aka the first post of any blog, you'd see that I'm entitled to post as frequently or infrequently as I choose. So suck it.
As for what I've been up to, I'll tell you, it's not much. If you take a look at the Rival training blog, you can get an update on my jump workout. I haven't updated that either because I really haven't had anyone to measure me. However, I did touch the bottom of the rim last week, so that's progress (5'8" and Jewish, you do the math). I've also been really busy at work up until this week where I am the ONLY ONE IN THE OFFICE ALL WEEK. Thanks, Cool Blue. They've nicknamed me "24/7 Jason." Yeah, that's right, laugh it up. Oh, before they all left for their respective vacations, they also forgot to leave me with anything to do. So, right now I'm getting paid to blog, which is fine by me. If you're really interested, you can read the following G33k R4n7, but I wouldn't recommend it. Otherwise, skip it and read on.
→G33k RaN7
While you were all getting smashed with your families on creepy Aunt Bill's eggnog and opening your shiny boxes with hand-knit duck sweaters, I was sitting in front of my laptop in nothing but boxers building the beautiful search engine that now graces my father's website (www.columbussupply.com, buy something!) And, because of the impending thousands of products to add to the database, I re-wrote the subnavigation on the left side of the products section so that it is more search-engine friendly.
Also, I realized that the reason Google refused to index the site was because all of the keywords and descriptions on every page were the same (my bad). So, I created a tool that dynamically inserts a list of keywords and a description unique to every page. I also (I know you are excited!) added some code that tracks individual product visits in quantity and exact date and time! While this may have elicited a happy lobster dance from me (if you don't know, it wasn't intended for you), it was not nearly as exciting as the first time someone came through the site and hit 10 products. That was cool. In a geeky kind of way, I guess.
Oh, I guess since I haven't been updating, you guys don't know about a lot of the stuff I've done, like the "hot products" section that randomly picks a "hot product" and displays it on every page load, or the creation of a very scalable solution to products with tabular listings, or my dad deciding that he didn't like the way some things looked so I had to change them, or the complete overhaul of the database structure so now only one parameter is passed every time (unless you paginate) instead of up to four.
So much exciting stuff! I can't believe you're still reading this!
So much has happened since my last real update. I hate long posts, as I'm sure you do too, so I will tell you one thing now and catch up as the days go on (I have nothing to do this week at work).
Thing One
The Car
As you know, UPS delivered the ultimate birthday present to me, and it had nothing to do with ultimate or my birthday. Or presents. They ran over the front of my car with a semi. And it was deemed my fault by the surprisingly intelligent Atlanta PD. Even though I wasn't moving. Oh, happy day. Luckily, we were on private property so I couldn't get cited for my "infraction" of standing still while a semi ran me over.While my life is undoubtedly changed forever (now I'll have to rely on wit and charm to pick up chicks. Sigh.), every tsunami has its silver...lining? After tooling around in Q's Honda for much longer than necessary and a shitty Kia rental (which fared surprisingly over speedbumps while going > 40), I found a beaut. On eBay.
Yep, I bought my car on eBay, and honestly, couldn't be happier. It was a steal at that price, and I got to see and drive it before I even placed a bid (which I placed and won on her computer in her living room, in the midst of a very supportive Ten-Toofed Uncle Tim, Aunt Sally the Whale, and a tiny weinerdog that really liked his stuffed rabbit). Special thanks to Sam for taking care of my passing loved one.
Word of the Day: quotidian adj. 1. every day, common place, 2. recurring daily
I maintain such a high level of readership on my blog due to my quotidian posting habits.
slapped on by Edelman @ 11:56 AM
2 blatherings
2 Unauthorized Ramblings:
You are lame... i just saw that you aren't going to make it back to ATL in time for Susie and KQ's thing next week... LAME!
no no no, you dream about being 5'8". i dream about being 5'9",
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