Edelman

I don't know what it is. Maybe it's my dashingly handsome good looks, maybe it's my cunning wit and charm, maybe it's my manly scent. But whatever it is, the guy at Sensational Subs is in love with me. I eat there no more than one time a week (the subs are delicious, but a little too greasy to eat every day) and every time I walk in the door, a huge smile wriggles out from between his saggy jowls and he waves his little plastic-gloved hand.

After I order, usually with a freebie that he'd given me the week before, he always makes sure to hand-deliver my sandwiches to me so he can coyly slide two more freebie tickets under my sub. Today he was working in the back when I ordered, so when he came out to clean up the dining area he saw me and came over to engage in some cracker barrel (see below) chit-chat. As he left to clean off more tables, he said, "Don't forget these. You left them on the table last time," as he handed me two more freebies.

Needless to say, I haven't paid for a meal at that restaurant in about three weeks, and I have three more freebies before I have to start. Should I be frightened or flattered?

Word of the Day: arduous adj: demanding great effort or labor; difficult; testing severely the powers of endurance; strenuous; hard to traverse, climb, or surmount.

Sadly, I had received the arduous task of having to train the new 18-year-old blonde secretary. My guess is that the task is more arduous than she is.