Edelman

From the start, the stars seemed to be aligning for Rival: the team was gelling, all the ladies were going to be there, we got our new jerseys, and Brian Lynch and Brainwater were already drunk and heckling. We were so pumped because we knew we had a shot at winning this one. It sucked that Holes and Poles, the one seed, couldn't make it because they are based out of New Orleans, and, well, the combination of Mother Nature and FEMA took care of that city, but that's a whole nother (note the tmesis) rant. The fact that HnP couldn't come was terrible and I hope that everyone on the team and their family are safe, but in terms of the tournament, it augmented our chances of winning, since they were the one seed going in.

So after a bit of pool reshuffling, we ended up in the middle pool as the fifth seed. We would not stay there. On Saturday, bright and early, we came out totally flat (per usual on Saturdays) with Fox pulling the first point out of bounds by the goal line, giving Ah, Fudge, the 14 seed (fifth in our pool), an easy score. Eventually, though, we wake up and take care of business, winning 13-4. Highlights (can I really call them highlights?) from this game would be Conor attempting to guard me, consequentially leading to me tooling the Clog all over the field for various scores. In his defense, though, his teammates said that he was, "Not as bad as they thought he would be."

We take a bye, and then again come out flatter than Kate Hudson in a sports bra, again, against the team Shawn Adams played with when he was around (the 9th seed or so, fourth in our pool, mainly older guys running the tourney). I don't like to point fingers at people on my team, but Malcolm is going to get a finger pointed at him for these first two points. The first point, we send Toejam deep (maybe in a future post I will explain the legend of Toejam. He is an...interesting...individual, but sick in the air.) and Malcolm launches it out the back after catching the pull. They work it back and score. Next point, Malcolm gets the disc from Dorsey off the pull. I cut in, losing my guy for a good two seconds cutting to the force side wide open. No pass. I look around, my guy is still a good ten yards behind me, so I continue calling for the disc. No pass, no acknowledgement, stall seven. Finally, he turns to look at Dorsey who is waiting patiently at dump for him to turn around, but there's pretty much no time for her to make a move. She cuts one way and Malcolm throws right into her defender on our goal line. Easy score for them. Malcolm plays well the rest of the tournament after sitting the next couple points out, and we win this one easily, too, 13-5.

After winning, we take some shade and watch as Soul Patrol, the two seed at the tournament and the one seed in our pool, barely beat Swingblade (three seed in our pool) on universe point. Although they consist mainly of seasoned All-Stars, their lack of subs overcame their seasoning, and we ended up taking them 12-8, surging forward after being tied at 6's. The next game against Swingblade (some Alabama team) was entertaining, if nothing else, with their ZZ Top/Hell's Angels look-alikes, and was another easy win at 13-6. Fast forward to...

PARTY RECAP

Sunday started off really well because we had a first round bye (seeing as we...ahem...won our pool). We couldn't get onto our fields because there were about 200 Mexicans playing soccer on them with their families watching in the stands. We went to get the TD (Cobble?) and he told me that he's been trying to get them off the fields for an hour but couldn't because they pretended not to understand what he was saying. I told him that I spoke Spanish and he lit up (not like Hatton or Brainwater). We jumped in his truck and bumbled over to the fields Rival was supposed to be playing on. "Lo siento, pero hemos reservado esta..." SHIT! what's the word for field? Yeah, I couldn't remember for my life. "...ehhmmm...esta zona (?) a las once." They all kind of turned to each other, knowing that their gig was up, but also wondering why we had reserved their zone. "Pero, señor, hemos venir de lejos para jugar aqui." Sorry, bub. Our fields. I overheard them talking to one another and finally recognized the word "cancha." Whew, I felt better, but mostly because they were all a lot shorter than me, and I never get to experience that sensation. Then, in eerily stereotypical fashion, they all, in perfectly synchronized unison, hung their heads and slowly meandered off the field. However, it wasn't two minutes later before they were all screaming "¡Arriba arriba! ¡Epa! ¡Epa!" with two newly acquired goals and seats from which their families could spectate.

Anyways, after kicking the Mexicans off our fields, we played Tater Sack, a local Nooga team. We started out on D and both teams came out hard, with the first point taking about ten minutes before they scored. The subsequent O point, however, took maybe four or five throws before we scored. The next D point was again hard fought (I took a dump in the sweatiest bathroom ever and came back and the point was still going on) and again we got scored on. But, this would be pretty much their last score of the game, as we turned it on and scoring at will. Fox had a sick layout D in the opposite endzone off a swing pass that knocked the disc back up in the air and was caught by the guy who threw it with an amazing layout catch (Chuck? then left the field, though, due to an injured shoulder). I had one good play where I sprinted down off the pull (our D team was dominating, so our O team got to start on D) and got a layout D on the first pass in their endzone, which set up an immediate score. Lee and Adrienne both had a couple of skys for scores, I believe, and this game was quick, 13-3. Enter Shotgun.

This game was tight from the beginning. They scored the first point on our D without much of a fuss, bringing on the Rival O squad. As I'm running down to set up in the H stack, i notice that Billy (6'4"? 6'5"?) is guarding me. Immediately, I begin to think (a bad thing, usually), "Great, I'm not getting respected deep this game." However, Ned gets the disc and instinct and reflex take over. My brain can't control thought, instinct, and reflex all at once, so while a tiny part of my brain is being beaten into submission (the thinking part) I cut in hard, Billy on my heels. Suddenly, I plant really hard and drop my body so I can change directions more quickly and explode towards the endzone. Before I even get a chance to start thinking again, which would most likely have made me turn around and bust in, the sidelines shriek, "UP!" Without breaking stride I peer over my shoulder to see Ned's laser-guided missle soar over my head and float a quick ten yards in front of me, but maybe a foot shy of the endzone. With this same bewildered peering over the shoulder, I notice that Billy is gaining on me. However, too little too late, as I make the catch right outside the endzone. Maybe if I were a foot taller I would have milked it, but with Billy closing that quickly, I wasn't taking any chances. I immediately dumped it to a trailing Lee, and I cleared towards the back of the endzone. Then, as if sensing the swing pass, I curled out towards the open end of the endzone, leaving Billy behind as I caught Malcolm's easy leading pass for the score. Billy's a cool guy and I have nothing against him, but nothing felt so good as tooling a guy deep who is at least foot taller than me.

The game stayed pretty even, the score being 6's at one point I believe. They had just picked up Jeremy Goetz, another ringer (like they need another guy ringer on that team) who helped solidify the team by taking disc touches away from McCargo, who, at maybe 6'3", got skyed by the 5'7" Wood on one play. Other notable plays were Chimpo getting an air D against Robert White (I can't find the picture, but there's one of him at the height of his 38" vertical), Gerald coming down with a huge grab over Billy for a break, and Adrienne skying Ed "Assface" Serzo (who actually succeeded in convincing our team that Malcolm was intentionally advancing a D'd disc because it hit his foot as he ran through it). Unfortunately, our offense began to falter and they remained solid, and we fell 15-11.

Overall, with the exception of Ned's attempted Pirate Ninja Robot cheer ("bleep bloop bloop...bleep...bleep...no? Okay.") we did so many things well this weekend. Our offense looked really solid at times with our four-women set being so effective against Shotgun that they put a guy on Adrienne (and put a girl on me. That was a fun point...hehehe), and our defense always coming up huge right when the offense trips up. I'm really psyched about sectionals this weekend where we get to play some of my old Emory compatriots, Craig with a C's team Sequence, and, you guessed it, a rematch with Shotgun.

(psssst....They don't know this yet, but we're going to tear them a new asshole.) Stay tuned!