Edelman

Today I encountered what is one of the world's greatest dilemmas. The scene — you're in a hole-in-the-wall restaurant and you need to wash your hands after crushing a delicious philly cheesesteak sub because if you suck on your fingers too much to get all that greasy goodness you start to think of all the things you touched earlier that day and get grossed out. So you walk to the bathroom and discover it is one of "those" bathrooms: the one-seater. No dividers. No stalls. Toilet, sink, mirror, paper towel dispenser, trashcan. When you go in, what do you do? You could lock the door and just wash your hands, but you'd feel silly because you're just washing your hands. On the other hand (for lack of a better segue), if someone unknowingly walks in, you have to go through the awkward, "Oh, I'm sorry!" "No, it's okay, I'm just washing my hands."

I suppose I could lock the door, but then I'd feel like I'm unnecessarily hogging the bathroom, even though no one else can use it while I'm in there. They should make a new game instead of rock, paper, scissors, call it locked bathroom, unlocked bathroom, uncomfortable sharing of unlocked bathroom (throw lock every time, baby. Lock never loses). I suppose you could have a once-in-a-lifetime "clog" that beats everything except "plunger," which loses to everything except "clog".

Anyone want to come up with the hand signals? This could be the next coolest game ever. I'm talking Olympics, man.

I'll be in Savannah, GA this weekend playing in Toss in the Moss. Wish us luck! Maybe I'll post a link to some pictures.

Word of the Day: venal adj 1: capable of being bought or obtained for money or other valuable consideration. 2: originating in, characterized by, or associated with corrupt bribery.

"Your mom is so venal. She only cost five bucks last night. Ohhhhhhh!" "My mom's dead, man." "Oh, yeah? Where's she buried?"